Just a little Girl

Bang--She's 11. Too old to be small and to small to be grown up. When I first met her, she was indeed a little girl, but over the past year I have seen her struggle with growing up. Her Cousin was born and she so often is seen parenting this little girl. She tries to play tough and even has taken a teaching role with the other kids. On any given day I see her waver from being "too cool" to hang out with me to begging to come in and play.

A couple of weeks ago I had the kids in watching Chronicles of Narnia. It started out with alot of kids coming in a watching--with, of course, Bang instructing them where to sit and when to be quite. As the movie went on--the younger kids lots interest. As the numbers dwidled. Bang came laying her head in my lap, At more intesnse parts she'd grab my hand and cover her eyes. She layed there for a good 30 minutes. I didn't say anything, didn't want to ruin the moment. I was reminded of just how young she is. It's a rariety she gets to be a kid, a ratiety she doensn't have to mother and train her 8 month old cousin, a rariety she can just be taken care of. Though my foot was falling asleep, I let her lay there--being a little girl.

It was a gentle and sweet reminder that I too need space to be a little girl. Too often I come to Jesus with big problems--seeking questions to huge answers. There's a time to be big and there's a time to just sit in the Lap of Jesus--being a little girl with her heavenly Father. Free to say I'm scared, free to say I need a lap of comfort, free to say "I don't have it all fiqured out--And that's okay"

Blogging thoughts

So I haven't blogged for a while. There's lots to say, and plenty to comment on . Things are going on, so why haven't I blogged in so long. I think there is an element of normalcy going on. At first I blogged a lot because everything was new, strange, funny and completely baffling. In actuality nothing has changed--I still have dead spiders on my pillow, centipedes in my bathroom, moments where I want to scream, and moments where all I can do is stand there baffled at the cultural differences. At the same time everything has changed. I've gotten used to all these once strange differences and they have become normal everyday life. I think, "why would everyone want to hear about normal everyday life"--that's when I realize that it's still not normal for everyone else. The things that break my heart and give me Joy are completely foreign to those I'm used to talking with. The things are foreign because they take place in Thailand, but they are also normal family woes. The things my neighbors deal with sometimes seem heightened, but they are similar to problems in American marriages. So what am I saying---I'm saying Thailand feels more normal and that I love that sense of home. Yet I'm also saying there are some things in this culture and American cultural that I hope I never get used to. I never want to stop crying out to God to fix the things that break His heart.
I'm also saying I'll try blogging some more, to fill you guys in.
Any preferences on what you want to hear about???? It's all normal to me.